What’s the ROI for my kids’ water polo?

It’s tax season, and every year while in my office, I yell out to my wife, “Dara, do you know how much we freakin spent on water polo last year.” As I review expenses for the year, it is one of the biggest expenses for us as a family. We have four kids who have all played competitive water polo. In fact, we have named the 2010’s as our family’s “decade of water polo.”

The haunting question hits me each year… is it worth the cost? The time, the money, the travel. Could we have invested our family’s resources in a better way? More surf trips, camping trips, vacations, cultural experiences? Could we have simply given the kids cash and taught them to invest it so they would be thriving financially in their 20’s? Talking to parents of other water polo families, and families with kids in sports in general, I think we’ve all asked similar questions.

The first line of discussion when talking about ROI (Return on Investment) is often about kids getting scholarships in college because their investment in high school/club sports. Hats off to all the kids that get these. They deserve them for so many reasons. That said, it is rare that students receive these scholarships, and the reality is that most do not. All my kids have played for strong Southern California teams and are high achieving student athletes. Reality is, however, only one or two will try for a water polo scholarship in college.

So, is it worth it? What is the cost (in dollars) and is there a return on this investment?

First the cost. Here is the breakdown. I’m being conservative. We have probably paid much more.

Average Club Fees Per Year = $2400
Tournaments Fees for Year = $1800
Gear + Associated Costs = $500
Travel + Food = $2000
High School Water Polo = $800 

Total Per Kid Water Polo Cost (annually): $7,500

Total Per Kid Cost for 4 Years of High School Water Polo
$30,000 X 4 DeSoto Kids: $120,000

OUCH!

So…. when our last child graduates in a couple years, we will have spent at least $120,000 on water polo for our kids to play through high school (not to mention before and after high school). 

What could we have spent that money on?

• 12 European, Hawaiian, or Indonesian trips for me and Dara

• A souped up RV Sprinter

• A brand new car for each of our kids  

• A house in Georgia 

• Another property with a house in El Salvador on the beach

• Etc…Etc…Etc..

Ok, those are a little selfish. But, what if I just invested the cash and let it sit for 50 years til our first kids start to retire?

If we put $120K into investments and got a 7% annual ROI on the money, it would be worth $3.5 million in 50 years. Here is Dave Ramsey’s nifty calculator. 

That’s a lot of money.  So, still the question:  Is it worth it?

Money

I started by removing college scholarships as a consideration in the calculation.  Although possible, I don’t want to include because I can’t count on them.  I did find 3 more tangible financial data points I could use as a return on the money we’ve put into our kids.  There may be others, but I’m choosing to look at the following:

#1 - Jobs

Both our boys have earned money each year as beach lifeguards.  Although they could have possibly earned that position without playing polo, there is a direct correlation between their athletic ability and responsibility, fostered in polo, that translates to their roles as lifeguards. Our girls both want follow in their footsteps, and are on their way to do so. 

Both boys will have worked up to 6 seasons from HS through college averaging about $7,500 per season. For 6 seasons that equals $45,000. If all 4 kids do this (most likely will), the total amount is $180,000.  I won’t see this money, but it has and will contribute to college, living expenses, and their investment in their futures. 

Potential Return: $180,000

#2 - Health

The savings that comes from healthy lifestyle is well known.  Studies are showing that those that exercise and maintain healthy living save $2,500 a year in medical related expenses (NY Times article here). Water polo has trained our kids to be athletes who take very good care of their bodies. Their work out and diet regiment should carry on through the rest of their lives.  If so, they have the opportunity to each save $125K (50 years x $2,500) on medical costs if they do like my grandpa did and exercise strenuously into their early 80’s.  

Potential Return: $500,000

#3 - Earning Potential

There is much debate on the value of a college degree. Still, the data shows a significant gap in earning potential between those that go and those that don’t. Our kids water polo has been a huge contributor to their scholastic success. Our 2 sons are both on college tracks, and our girls have high GPA’s and planning for college.  The discipline and healthy peer group gained by polo can not be understated in their success.  The Social Security Administration (link here) reports that men with a college degree will earn $900K more than those without over their lifetime, and women will earn $630K more (waiting for the day this is more equal). If all four of our kids graduate from college, which they seem on track to do, the pay off is large, more than $3 million. 

Potential Return: $3,060,000

Combined Potential ROI (over 50 year period) = $3,740,000

So, an argument can be made that there is a larger return on investment from water polo for our kids than if we just put the money in investments for 50 years.  Obviously, any calculation has a good deal of speculation to it, but there is an argument here.  Investing in your kids high school sports can have a positive return on investment.

If that were the end of the story, it could be a weak argument depending on how you look at the numbers. But, as I compile tax return information this year, and choke over many of our expenses, there is so much more that has been returned to us through our decade of water polo.  Here are 3 ways that the investment has had significant dividends that I believe will continue to pay off:

(ROI) Time 
We have logged thousands of hours with our children. In cars, on pool decks, in restaurants, at friends houses, at their school. Rather than being passive observers, water polo parents are active participants with our children.

(ROI) Community
Over the last decade, we have met incredible families that make up the water polo community in Southern California.  We can be a bit intense, but for the most part these families are hard working people dedicated to their children, their schools, and their neighborhoods.  All our kids have felt intimately part of something special. When we moved to Carlsbad from Seal Beach in 2016, we were embraced by the water polo community. When my son attended SDSU, a college with over 30,000 students, he found a solid group of friends who played water polo. They are some of his best friends now as he draws near to graduating.  My girls have friends who feel like sisters. This community is a treasure and something that cannot be measured in money.

(ROI) Values
Our kids have learned tremendous values from playing such a demanding sport, and from the positive influences of coaches, teammates, and parents. Discipline, respect, responsibility, endurance, competition, teamwork, overcoming adversity, and sacrifice are just some of the values that have been engrained in our kids. As they age, we get glimpses of how these values produce fruit outside the pool. They take what they learn in the water and ferociously take on the world with little fear.  If you can overcome being held underwater in the “hole” or have to endure hour long brutal swim sets, there is little that can scare you on land. 

Conclusion

This is a bit of pep talk to myself, as I get back to preparing our taxes. But, I hope it is also encouragement to all of you parents who sacrifice to support your kids in whatever they do.  The investment is worth it in so many ways. I do believe the numbers pencil, but the less tangible rewards far exceed monetary gain.  Hang in there parents, a trip to Europe may be closer than you think.

January 18 - A Day that Changed Everything

Many of us have a defining day in our lives, that day where we mark a “before” and “after.” For me it is January 18, 2007, the day I was shot in the neck in Abelines, El Salvador. Every year the day sneaks up on me, but ironically I usually find myself sitting in a chair drinking my morning coffee with Dara, talking about El Salvador. Then I look at my phone and say, “Wow, do your realize what today is?” That happened today. I’m taking Dara and our girls to El Salvador in March, and we were discussing the details and getting excited. And like a bomb, again we remember the shooting, the day that changed everything.

Before the shooting, there was a real innocence about our family. Our kids were babies, and even though we lugged them to El Salvador, they hadn’t experienced anything truly traumatic. Our adventures consisted of building forts in bedrooms, chasing iguanas, lighting fireworks, or exploring communities in the Salvadoran countryside. Every bump and bruise to that point just “built character.” The shooting changed that.

After the shooting, we all realized how fragile life is, that it could end in a second. After the shooting, Dad (me) started going through major emotional highs and lows. I would never talk again with a real voice. My breathing would always be difficult. Family adventures now seemed scarier. El Salvador started feeling more dangerous and foreign. Life became more about survival instead of thriving. That day, January 18th, marked the day where we all met a life filled with uncertainty, challenge, and threat. If dad could get shot and almost die, it could happen to any of us.

Fast forward 12 years. Today, instead of mourning that day, I celebrate it. I can’t really explain why, except that I am full of thanks for my life today. It has been 12 hard, grinding years. But, along the way I’ve found healing. I’ve watched God use the trauma of that day to build a strength in my kids and my wife that is priceless. I’ve seen God restore our family’s love for El Salvador. I’ve seen God restore my vocation, and give me meaningful work that allows me to provide for my family and give back to ministry and service. I’ve also learned the following lessons that might help others that try to come back from trauma of there own:

Life may never be the same, but it can be really good.

I’ve had to let go of missing my old voice, my old capabilities, my life before the shooting. It really is a grieving process, letting go to the old me that died that day I was shot. I can’t go back. But, there is a new life available and good, if I’ll accept it for what it is and embrace each day.

Physical handicap can be a gift.

I’d give almost anything to speak again and breath with ease. That said, I’m learning to accept my limitations. There is a freedom in it. There are some things that I simply won’t ever be able to do. To those things, I’ve let go so that I can focus on the thousands of things I CAN do. I also walk with an acute compassion for those around me that struggle with their own handicaps.

Trauma can provide clarity of purpose.

Recovering from the shooting has been a long process. For most of it, it’s felt like being in the wilderness without a guide. But in recent months, I’ve come into some radical clarity of purpose. It’s clear that just about everyone will face trauma of some type in their lives. For many in the world, that trauma (be it poverty, violence, etc.) is daily. My task is to simply try to help the best I can. I can’t fix anything or anyone, but I can walk alongside those I’m called to in the middle of their trial, and point them to the hope and healing that I’ve experienced.

God sometimes blows your socks off.

I don’t feel like I deserve anything because of the shooting. But, I do think God is gleefully mischievous and sometimes enjoys giving us gifts that we could never imagine. For me, God gave me a surf resort in El Salvador (Villa Punta Mango) with a partner who is like a brother to me. Every year, I become giddy like my teenagers about going to El Salvador on another surf trip. No matter how hard my year is, God allows me to go to Punta Mango, sit on the bluff with a mango and Pilsener and watch the sunset after a long day surfing. I think God smiles a little each time I go, and says, “See Pete, you took a bullet for me, but I had all this planned for you.”

So I celebrate today, January 18th, and give thanks to God for giving one more day. I’ll try to make it a great one.

5 Things That Worked for Me in 2018

Prioritizing Family Over Other People

That picture to the left, is my favorite of the year. My two girls right before their homecoming dance. Cliche proven, “blink and they will be all grown up.” I decided this year, that I only have a little time left with my kids living at home. I have 2 sons already in college, and I can start to feel what it’s like to let them go. I’m not a genius, but I’m smart enough to know that when I’m older, I won’t regret spending more time with my family and less with others during this critical season in our lives. I once was a pastor and know what it feels like to try to spread the time around to countless people. This year, I simply decided not to try. I want my wife and kids to feel like I always pick up their phone call (or call them right back), that I’m around more than I’m not, and that I chase them around their various commitments to be present in their environments. I’ve had to stop caring if I disappoint others, or that I might be missing key networking opportunities to further my career. I’m sure I’ll have time for that later.

Orange Theory

Like most of us, each year I plan to improve my fitness. Most years I fail horribly. That changed for me in 2018 thanks to OrangeTheory. Towards the end of 2017, I saw a buddy at the beach and was blown away by how much weight he had lost and how fit he looked. He was a retired pro surfer, and in good athletic form, but he shed a bunch of weight and looked super healthy. I asked him, “Bryan, why do you look so good?” (Yes I felt pretty cheesy asking that question). He said, “OrangeTheory!” For the next two weeks he hounded me until I signed up, and then was relentless to make sure I kept doing the classes.

The first few weeks were BRUTAL! I didn’t realize how out of shape I was. The format demands that you keep your appts. (sign up on an app) or you get dinged money. That is a pretty strong incentive for me. After a few weeks, I was hooked. For some reason, the format allows me to push myself at the right level, keep progressing, and want to come back. The proof is in the pudding. In 2018, I lost a little over 20 lbs., dropped my mile time from 10 minutes to under 7 minutes, and consistently go 3-5 times a week, even if I’m traveling to another city. Their app is easy, coaches are great, and it’s great to work out with people from all levels of fitness. Try it - OrangeTheory

Writing A Personal Business Plan

I’m in sales, and staying focused is a challenge. It’s easy to get caught up in non-productive activity that doesn’t lead to great results. I tend to be a planner, so I try to write simple plans that I can follow and that have clear objectives. In 2018, this process worked very well. I wrote an aggressive plan that attempted to double my sales quota for the year. It was ambitious, but I felt like the opportunity was there to do it. There was no magic in the plan. It simply gave me a guide throughout the year, and it worked. I surpassed the targets written in the plan. I put the following in the plan:

Goals - No groundbreaking secret here. I set specific targets in terms of # of new clients, # of deals, and total $ amount goal for the year. I also included personal development goals and networking goals.

Strategy - I spent some time thinking about a game plan. How am I going to try to achieve the goals above? What has worked in the past? What doesn’t? What new tactics can I try?

Actions - A short list of tasks that I will hold myself accountable for the year. These are not housekeeping tasks, but strategic actions that will move me towards my goals.

People + Clients - I identify the relationships and companies that I will focus on for the year. This is hard, because the opportunities seem endless, but the planning process forces me to focus on top opportunities. It also forces me to face my own limits and be realistic with my own capacity. I’d like to be like Zig Ziglar, but have to be ok with being the best Pete I can instead.

Calendar - Simple scheduling. I layout the year with key events, travel, and personal time. I also look for seasons where I can double down on prospecting/business development.

Writing One Page Life Plan

I read a fascinating book last Fall called Measure What Matters, by John Doerr. At first glance it looks like a real sleeper, one more book on management tactics, a real page turner. But, Doerr recounts his incredible experience of using “OKR’s - Objectives + Key Results” to guide the success at Intel and Google. The power is in the simplicity of identifying the most important objective and key results a team must focus on within the organization.

For me, the book most impacted my personal life. I struggled to answer the question, “What is my most important objective, and the key results I want to see personally?” Real quickly, so many of the objectives I aim for seem to fall short (i.e. financial security, job satisfaction, relationships, travel, etc.). Ultimately, when I die, what is going to matter most. As a Christian, it hit me, that the most important question to ask might be, “what will it be like to stand before God when I die?” Sorry to drop the heavy bomb, but that seriously has been haunting me. Scripture says there will be one of two answers, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” or “I never knew you.” Not really a middle ground is given, believe me, I’ve looked for it.

So, I set out to write a simple life plan using the OKR format. The #1 objective for me now is to be able to hear, “Well done…” when I pass on from this life to the next. It was weird, how as soon as I wrote those words on a page, my stress reduced. I’m not responsible for accomplishing all that is in my head (thank God!). I’m not in control, really at all, at the outcomes in my life (I realized this when I was shot 12 years ago. Shameless plug, please read - Shot: The Book). Instead, I get to serve God everyday to the fullest. The life plan I wrote did not create lofty goals centered on my need for accomplishment, but instead identified dreams I hope to experience in my life and those around me. They are still ambitious, and are still goal oriented. But strangely, I am more motivated to see them come to pass by recognizing that I can let go of control and simply enjoy the process.

Narrowing Down My List of Friends

Most difficult shift I made all last year. I realized that social media keeps me connected to a growing number of people that have had significance in my life, but that I know longer interact with and probably won’t in the future. For me, a relational person, that can cause stress feeling like I’m loosing touch with friendships. With a good deal of change in our lives the last three years, we’ve had to let go of many relationships. It’s been easy to feel a bit isolated.

So last year, I made a small list of friendships I’d invest in. That was tough, because I left some names off that I really care for. I wasn’t deciding to cut them out of my life. It’s always great to catch up with old friends. Instead, I decided to not worry about not calling them or trying to stay up on their lives. I planned instead to make room for the few friendships that were a part of my present season as well as for life-long friends that require extra effort because they live in another part of the country or world. This worked. It gave me freedom to clear the space in my head of who I spent time and communicated with. It gave me time to take a couple trips with my best friend from college and his family. It gave me time to take a great surf trip with a friend and my boys, as well another surf trip with a group of buddies in So Cal. Ironically enough, it gave me space to make new friends as well. I think before social media, we gave ourselves more permission to move on. Christmas cards were enough to keep contact with people we’ve moved away from. I think this year, I’m going even less on social media, and will try to do a family Christmas card for the first time in a while.